a life in the circus...

i have pretty much come to accept that my life is made up of a circus act,

 requiring me to balance on fine lines, keep juggling balls all in the air,

and be ring master of the whole shebang all at the same time...

 

i have to say, this life is a humbling experience.

 

this circus act has me constantly falling into the abyss, dropping balls left and right, and either screaming in or neglecting my megaphone all together.

 

first off, i should say i am a very even keeled woman.

i tend not to be weepy or hormonal.

i roll with the punches, knowing life is still good even when it sucks, and i can pull up my boot straps and get the heck on with it when need be.

i don't believe in looking back unless we can learn from it and then move on.

and rarely, if ever, do i cry.

 

all that said {just so ya'all know i'm not just pmsing in this post-i'm not ;)},

i do get overwhelmed and want to bury my head in the sand sometimes.
most of the time.

 

i know i had a tendency at one point in my life to feel prideful.

i was making good decisions that were God honoring and i felt proud.

i think if i had become the 32 year old woman i had imagined at one point i would be, i would still be prideful.

 

good thing the Lord threw me off my high horse.

it hasn't been pretty, but i sure have learned a lot in the process.

 

 

my kids are not perfect. {GASP!}

in fact one leads me daily to my knees feeling battle worn and weary.

my once trim figure has suffered medical issues {okay, and chocolate} leaving me overweight and embarrassed.

my house that after only 2 kids was still 95% clean has given way to cracker crumbs and paper stacks and

laundry eruptions.

this last year got tight with finances from a job shift.

i won't even mention the state of my backyard and the agony it has caused in this household

{looking at that mess is the only time i feel PMSy}

add to that me trying to teach my children at home and you have a woman who not only fell off her high horse but got bucked clear the hell off.

 

i have been known to ask God "where is my manna for today?!" in my best 2 year old voice,

or go in the bathroom and literally beg God for a little more strength.

 

i fail in so many ways.

every.single.day.

 

i go to bed with guilt, wake up resolved to be cheery despite attitudes {cheery is my natural make up, but it soon is sucked dry}, only to drop that particular ball right out of the gate.

if i manage to see my husband out the door with a hot breakfast, a load in the wash by 6am, and devotions under my belt, feeling pretty good,

just wait until 8 am when the "i hate math/you're the meanest mom in the world/he kicked me/ i hate my brothers/i don't want to brush my teeths" start.

i fall off that high wire and wind up in a pile somewhere down below.

 

 

i'm not saying this to whine or complain or receive accolades.

i'm saying this because it's the truth.

that hard, ugly, i'mnothingwithout Jesus truth.

and i have a feeling i'm not the only circus performer out there.

 

 

but i know that when i am weary God takes my burdens and fights my battle { Matt 11:28 and exodus 14:14}
and i know that He chooses the weak and foolish to work through {1st corinth. 1:27}
and i am soooooo foolish!
and i know that He will be faithful to complete the work He started in me {phil. 1:6}

i am so glad i serve a God who knows my weaknesses , oh so many, and loves me anyways.
and i am thankful i can give up this foolish balancing act, the juggling and the hand the mike over to Him.
even if it's every day. or multiple times a day.
He will cover where i ere with my kids, and i will trust Him to do the work i simply can not do.


well, except the cheerios on the floor.
i'll have to do that.
i don't think God sweeps.

 

 

 

 

 



a right of passage...

the # 1 monkey has just passed a significant milestone for his dad's side of the family.

he shot his very first deer!

 

i am so proud of him.

he really is a wise and old soul.

we have had several struggles with him recently and i know this is just the thing he needed right now.

my husband's family has been hunting these same places since the early 1900s and it is a family affair with all the men, uncles, cousins, grandpa, and distant relatives coming together each fall. i love that aiden gets to be a part of all that.

i know these memories will be with him a lifetime.

 

 



engage!!!

i have a confession to make.

even though i've been a Christian for nearly 20 years it isn't often i hear God's still small voice.

perhaps it's because i tend to usually be the one talking and don't shut it often enough to hear Him.

maybe because He chooses to rarely move that way.

{ i know , i know, it's the first one }

 

 

so when i hear it i have to take heed.

and by hear it, i simply mean that note straight to your heart that is silent yet loud.

don't worry, i'm not hearing audible voices in my head where i need the loony bin...

at least not yet.

 

but at the end of the day, laying in bed,

when i feel like i've done yet another piss poor job of mothering my children, i beg God for answers.

what am i doing wrong?!

i feel like i'm doing it right but then,somehow not.

like something is missing.

and i ask God why i feel this way.

why i can look at them with their eye lashes against their pale cheeks sleeping and wonder how yet again i feel like i have missed something.

remorse courses through me as i ponder.

and i ask God what i am missing.

and then that rare still small voice echoes in my heart.

 

they need more of you.

and then i want to laugh.  or cry. or cuss.

 

are you kidding me God?

are you kidding me???

He doesn't tell me He's joshing me.

i don't hear anything.

it's a credit to His infinate wisdom He has not given this message to my husband to pass on to me.  after all, what is it i do everyday?

i wake up early to prep school for them.

then i make breakfast for them while i do their laundry and then i teach them and then i read to them and then i wipe them and then i bathe them... and, and, and - them, them, them.

 

 

 

 

but then what He said stirs my heart.

it starts to penetrate my sarcasm and shock at what He said.

and i wonder.

did we laugh today?

did i really look at them in the eyes when they spoke or did i say uh-huh while folding laundry or paying bills?

did i go play ball when they asked or did i tell them my back hurts or i'm busy making dinner?

did i rush through the end of the day?

rush to brush teeth, rush to read the book, rush to tuck them in only to rush to bed to start all over again?

did i let them know that this, this life is a joy for me?

do they know that i chose this because i love them?

do they really feel that?
do they know they are more than just something else to check off my list?

 

and i realize.

God is right.

{duh.  big surprise}

 

they do need more of me.

they need more eye contact and involvement and games that don't feel like i'm trying to push them   to the finish line to get to the next thing on my list.

 

there is a part in the Incredibles when the kids are all fighting at the dinner table and Mrs. Incredible screams to Mr. Incredible,

 " Do something!  ENGAGE!".

 

 

so today i will give them more of me.

today i will engage.

i may forget to tomorrow.

but then i'll try again.

and hope His still small voice at the end of the day whispers to my heart

 i am proud of you, for you are trying.

 

 

being a mom to boys means...

that the slide will inevitably end up upside down or on it's side and used improperly.

{a}

that i will find random things all day...such as a cut hose with sewing pins sticking out of it, on the kitchen island.

{a}

that quiet will sometimes mean that you walk into a room and find a boy sitting on the table playing with pez dispensers {which were, curiously, put up very high?}.  because apparently the table is the only suitable place for pez play.

{t}

that the butterfly habitat is now home to an assortment of...bees.

{a}

that shoes are spread hither and yon.

no matter how much nagging they have been subjected to.

{a}

that cleaned out pockets will mean bullets, a carved soapstone, grass, a hair band {probably used for a rubberband}, and a football mouth guard will be placed on my hutch shelves.

{a}

that bar graphs are what the chalk is for.

{c}

all in a days work.

x three.

it means working from son up til son down for sure.

and i enjoy {most every}  minute of it.

blessings,

mandy

in case you doubt my dorkiness...

may i reaffirm that for you.

a friend got a dog today.one of his names is jasper.

ahhh, jasper.

this post will forever remind my children how fortunate they were that dad had an opinion on their names.

my top boys names if mr.bossy pants didn't have mercy upon  our children's souls.

boys:

 jasper.

tucker.

{yep, i know. still, i fought hard for this one.}

oliver.

riley

{but then it had to go all over to the girl's side and screw that up.  you know why i liked riley?

because of riley roberts in the t.v. show the torkelsons.  which, apparently, i am the only person in the history of the world to remember} 

and

wait for it...

willoughby.

i never even tried with that one.  he may have died laughing.

girls:

well, my daughter was supposed to be cecily.

i still mourn that name.

avonlea.

{i never brought up that one either, just kept it hidden in my heart til now.  don't you feel fortunate?;)}

josie.

elsie.

{which are not dorky names like my usual}

and elizabeth was always to be my daughter's middle name.

in the end we chose elleanor,

which has the same feel.

so, what did we name our kids?

well, here on the blog we keep that private.

but i will tell you once.

this shall be the only time ever on this here publication.

aiden andrew.

{who is nearly 11 by the way.  we were waaaay ahead of that game;)}

and i still love this name, though he was almost  a noah.

brynna elleanor.

love her middle name.

like her first.

conner ryan.

i thought conner too trendy, but liked it well enough.

have always loved the name ryan.

trevor isaiah.

i really like trevor.  kinda cowboyish.

loathe the name isaiah.

that was all his daddy.

{i'm sorry trev, mommy still loves you}

so, as you can see,

i still put entirely too much thought into names when i shall never bear more children.

but now, my dorkiness is documented for all time,

and my boys will know how close they came to utter humiliation and be indebted to their father for all eternity.

amen.

blessings,

mandy

the good, the bad, and the ugly...

 

i am the mom that says she'll blog 3x a week and then a month goes by.

oops.

i am the mom that doesn't flinch when her kids decide they need marker tattoos and end up scribbled head to toe in neon green.

i am the mom that freaks out when shoes get left hither and yon when there are no less than 3 shoe buckets on the premises.

i am the mom that screams at her children to be quiet because i am trying to read a book about being being a more present mom.

i am the mom that spends extra money we don't have to buy organic milk and eggs at the grocery store, only to hit up Mc D's on the way home because there is NO way i'm cooking lunch after shopping.

i am the mom who will sweep and do dishes 5x a day.

but not fold the 5 piles of laundry sitting in my living room.

i am the mom who sees nothing wrong whatsoever with still needing to sleep with a 3year old monkey to get him to sleep.

i am the mom that would love to get a breast lift and lypo,

but would not get my stretch marks removed, believing they are part of a very special story.

i am also the mom against plastic surgery.

i am the mom that will remind my kids how essential modesty is,

then walk by and grab my husband.

i am the mom that fasts for her children in prayer, then realizes there are mint kisses in the pantry, and thinks God will overlook fasting for the sake of mint kisses.

i am the mom who has amazing ideas and intentions,

but lacks the follow through on 90%.

i am the mom whose children would never talk that way,

whose children now constantly use such language as idiot and shut up.

i am the mom who doesn't balk at crayon on the walls or new white furniture, but cried like a baby at the first "i hate you!"

i am the mom who has now grown accustomed to those i hate yous and simply says "well i love you"

i am the mom who has nursed four babies,

co-slept with those babies,

and never let them cry it out.

i am the mom who doesn't believe in having huge birthday parties every year.

i am the mom who too often says one thing and does another.

i am the mom that once stood on my front porch, baby on a boob, phone to the ear, while shooting at a deer with a bebe gun in our veggie garden.

and i'm the mom who didn't think that was weird til i retold the story.

i am the mom that went through thinking two of her babies had cancer/tumors,

and rejoiced when they did not.

i am the mom who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to bribe your kids

(God bribed Moses to the promised land with milk and honey right?)

i am also the mom that second guesses everything she does and feels guilt about nearly all of it.

i'm the mom who never left her kids, even to run to the grocery store by myself.

so now i'm the mom that feels weird having bunco or a girl's day out every month.

i'm the mom who never once considered working outside the home, regardless of financial situations.

i'm the mom who likes to get all dolled up.

and wear a pony tail and yoga pants the other 5 days.

i'm a mom who plays her music so loud in the car, i fear for my children's ear drums when i get back in the car and realize how loud it was.

i am the mom who sings off key, ridiculous songs to annoy my kids.

i'm the mom who sometimes 'fights' the fit by throwing myself on the floor and screaming too.

i'm the mom with cracker crumbs in the van, the couch cushions and in my cleavage.

i'm the mom that knows how very blessed i am to have 4 little loveys.

i am the mom blessed to have such an easy time getting pregnant and easy pregnancies.

i'm the mom who was quiet and graceful through all my labors.

(if you can be graceful spread full eagle with sweat dripping down your face).

i am the mom who gives way too many lectures and gets drawn into the arguments.

i am the mom who is usually patient and kind during potty accidents, broken things and owies.

but i'm the mom who yells for everyone to just stop yelling.

i'm the mom who has forgotten to shut public restroom doors because i just forgot they shut.

i'm the mom who loves my monkeys unconditionally.

i'm the mom trusting God to help me enjoy this beautiful and crazy ride i'm on.

still alive ya'all...

still not up to blogging,

but thought i'd hop on share a picture:

this is mr.buggie boo.

when i hear rocks being crashed upon my dining table i yell

"What the heck are you doing ?!  Why are there rocks on the table?"

looking very irritated he says ,

"MOM, i'm playing rock, paper, scissors."

sheesh.

i should have known that!

:D

Blessings,

Mandy

question...

so, uh...

is it bad that my life's goal is to not yell?

seriously,

"just help me not scream at the little people today Lord and my mission will have been successful".

so this is my life:

~wake up and study Bible, pray

~homeschool their ever lovin hearts

~yell, threaten, have melt down

~read  my parenting books

***one of these things is not like the others, one of these things just isn't the same***

(credit:sesame street)

ya.

that's life.

how's yours?

blessings,

mandy



i'm baaaaaack..with a serious note from my heart to my family and friends...

well, i didn't quite make it to the end of summer before i came back did i?

i need to say something,

something that has been on my heart to say to all my friends and family that know me in real life.

i almost did this Christmas letter style, sending 'em out in snail mail, but i decided this was an easier alternative.

while i feel like i've said most of this in one way or another, now is the time to be vulnerable and lay it all out for you all.

here we go...

okay, so by now everyone knows we are homeschooling come Fall.

and i know everyone has their own opinions about this.

while i have not had anybody come right out and say it's a horrible idea,

the idea has been subtly conveyed.

i realize that not all of us are called to homeschool.

i realize this is not the only good option out there, and that it certainly has it's drawbacks.

but as i write this,

my prayer is that you will understand that i am called to do this.

this is what the Lord has very clearly written on my heart.

and this is going to be hard for me.

i have heard the murmurs,

taken the jokes and sarcasm,

 and bit my tongue in fear of bursting into tears or telling someone off.

this has not been easy.

for the first time in my entire life, i have wanted to run away.

take my family and move to a town where no one knows us.

now i say that, knowing i would never, and that in actuality i wouldn't even want to,

but this has all been a little much to handle.

as a family, we have our convictions on how the Lord has called us to raise our children.

Jerad and i firmly believe, that while we have a whole long way to go in this parenting thing,

that we are making the right choices for our kids.

i say this kindly, but the Lord has called US to raise our kids,

not you all.

we don't ask that you always agree with us.

we don't ask that you raise yours the same way.

what we do ask is that golden rule.

if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

i have always been one to stand out in the crowd for my beliefs.

i've never been afraid of what others think.

i just always thought the 'others' would mean people in the world, not of our own faith or family.

and while i say this knowing full well that i am not in any way in the same class as the early church...

i always believed my persecution would come from the world,

not my family , friends and fellow believers in Christ.

while the 'persecutution' i speak of has been light, and indirect, i have felt it cut as deep as harsh words.

i can't tell you how i have let your insecurity in our choices wound me deeply.

i am confident in this decision.

but i am brought to tears by the weight of the judgement i feel from others.

i know this is going to be hard path.

i know i would have a lot more 'space' if they were in school.

i know that my kids need time away from home.

i know that i will have a lot on my plate.

tell me this:

who in the history of the world,

that has made a significant impact,

has walked the easy path?

my impact for this world is my children.

i am choosing a harder road.

i realize that.

but we don't get to many good places in life taking the easy way.

i am swimming a current that goes against most of you.

if you don't agree with our homeschooling,

our rules,

our lifestyle,

then by all means don't.

but please don't say things in front of our children that undermine our authority,

or pour doubts in their heads that we know the Lord's calling.

i say this not to any individual,

but to everyone:

support us.

and if you can't support us,

please keep your opinions silent.

if you don't trust us to make the right choices,

ask the Lord to direct us in His way,

and then let Him do his work in us.

Blessings,

Mandy

&

family

eta:  i realize nobody has meant to be mean spirited or hurt me,
and i know that all the 'advice' is meant kindly,
it just isn't always as easy to feel it kindly ;)

just say no ( a somewhat rant)...

the whirlwind of end-of-school-craziness is just about at a close...

possibly forever?

well, i'm sure there will still be some,

just all together different.

there is much to get done,

projects i'm needing to begin,

books to read,

clothes to wash

(and actually fold and make it to the drawers!)

etc

etc

etc.

all that said i'm winding it down.

i'm determined to have a semi schedule this summer.

you know,

the kind of schedule that helps actually have more time to relax?!

here's the deal.

we are not a go-go-go family.

we're a mostly stay home and do random things family.

the kids do not participate in  any sports other than the oldest monkey with spring baseball.

we don't do camps/trainings/plan lots of play dates/etc.

i refuse to be the mother that is always in the car,

with 4 kids going to 4 places and picking up fries along the way.

i know it will get more difficult as the others get a bit older.

there will be more busyness.

though i refuse to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

 families ask how i do it all.

i don't!

i say no to many things.

being HOME with family is more important than having all the kids kept "BUSY".

 i have a very difficult time with the idea of dropping our kids of at baseball training camps, boys and girls club activities, football day camps, etc.

i do not feel at all comfortable about sending my kids off to adults i don't really know for hours at a time.

i've never even allowed them to go to VBS.

while these activities can be fun, i would encourage parents to ask questions regarding background checks ( in our state, i've  heard but not verified it only shows up if the occurrence HAPPENED in our state!)

 and whether or not there are policies in place for a 2 deep ratio.

meaning that there have to be at least 2 adults with a child at all times,

trips to the rest room, etc.

i know some people are eye rolling at me.

in a world where possibly 1/2 the kids are sexually molested this is not something to consider lightly.

see some stats here

and even better, if you can be present at these camps, etc, then by all means STAY!

i know this may mean that you have to wait 2 hours and take the kids to the grocery store when you are done, but it is worth the protection of your children!

the same goes for allowing kids to spend time at other people's homes.

my kids have a select few homes they are allowed to go to.

and they are NEVER allowed to spend the night.

yes, they think we are evil for it,

but one day,

when they are sitting in a cabin with 12 peers at church camp and the conversation reveals that they are

THE ONLY ONE IN THE ROOM

 that has not been sexually molested they will understand.

i know because i was in one of those cabins,

and was so horrified that after i got the girls settled i walked out in the snow and cried my eyes out.

those girls have no idea how their inexcusable wounds have enabled me to be a more aware,

more protective parent to my children.

i thank the Lord that their experiences were shared with me that i might have a better understanding of this evil world and the need to protect our babies.

will your child be upset when they are 'the only one' unable to attend the sleepover?

absolutely.

there will be tears and tantrums galore.

but just say no!

have a sleepover in your living room,

popcorn and movies.

invite friends to your house as much as possible.

stay home rather than running from one place to the next

(unless of course it's a park hopping extravaganza!).

find time to lay under an oak and read a good book to your kids.

(we're currently on Little House on the Prarie).

God Bless,

Mandy



Parenting Books...

some excellent parenting books i highly recommend...

these are the best 2 i've ever read...

and i've read quite a few!

this book is one that you will go back to and have pages marked up in-

promise!

Creative-Correction by Lisa Whelchel

if you have a strong willed child, this book is a must.

one of the best aspects of this book?

it reminded me of God's design, that my strong willed child is NOT the only one, and that it can be conquered...

New Strong Willed Child James Dobson

God Bless,

Mandy

Adventure to Homeschooling Part 2 : more whys...

eta: since many have asked, yes, we are waiting until next fall to start homeschooling.  they will finish this year out in their current school.


okay,

like i need more of a reason than God saying

"DO IT!".

but there are a few more...

 1. my son is behind in math.

the curriculum in place a few years ago was so screwed up i heard his teachers complain about it.

the majority of his 4th grade class is struggling, all because of some faulty curriculum.

i hate that he comes home at the end of the day, after 6 hours in school,

only to spend an hour doing homework,

in which i usually have to 'reteach' him the stuff he should have learned in class.

i want to clarify something:

I do not blame the teachers.

they do not get to choose their curriculum, they have 25 + kids,

all with different learning styles,

and i do not in any way blame them.

we have been blessed with some great teachers in the public school system,

but the truth is that they have their hands tied in many ways.

 plus the fact that I have good kids(at school at least : D), kids that are not problem, loud, crazy kids,

they tend to get overlooked when it comes to getting special attention.

and neither one of the two oldest kids are the type to raise their hands and say they need the help.

my oldest 2 children are also kinesthetic learners.

they do not absorb as much through auditory learning,

which is how the public school system is set up.

monkey #3 would do fabulous in the public school system, because he does learn this way.but i believe i can mold a curriculum around my kids according to their style learning,

not the other way around.

 2. probably the main reason for homeschooling though, is this:

 i want my kids to have a heart for home.

i want them to learn that things like family, character, and Biblical values

are the by far the most important thing.

i already feel the pull.

the separation.

the "but they said this".

"but I'm the only one who doesn't"

"i hate my brothers and sister".

etc.

is this normal?

absolutely.

do i want to raise drones that don't think or act for themselves?

no.

but i do want what Daddy and I believe to be their main source of influence.

they WILL get it somewhere,

wouldn't it be better from us than from a peer?

  I heard a fantastic quote

“If we continue to send our children to Caesar for their education, we need to stop being surprised when they come home as Romans.”

-Voddie Baucham

i want my kids to have a BIBLICAL worldview.

 

 

3. i want to protect my kids from harm.

i'm always a little shocked when people say

 "you can't protect your kids from everything"

"aren't you a little over protective?"

" your kids are sheltered".

etc, etc.

really?

 

because if is not my job to PROTECT my kids than what the heck is?

 

yes, i know they have to be 'introduced' to the world at some point.

 

yes, i know they will see *that* somewhere along the road.

 

yes, they have to grow up sometime.

 

but guess what?

right now they are

CHILDREN.

 

i will decide when and how my kids get introduced to the CRAP of the world.

and my husband i will equip them in how to deal with these things.

i certainly don't think that throwing them to the wolves would serve them well.

but arming them with 'weapons' and allowing them jaunts into the forest a little at a time will be much more effective.

 

so if you say my kids are sheltered, don't be surprised when my response is

"THANK YOU".

because it means I'm doing something right.

it means i'm doing my job.

 

  so those are basically my reasons why.

i will address the concerns that people have about homeschoolers in the next post...

 

God Bless,

Mandy

 

if you missed my first two posts in this series
see intro :
A NEW ADVENTURE

and
Part 1: why

overwhelmed...

there are moments it's so easy to have faith and trust.

others not so much.

mine tend to wobble back and forth faster than my 3 year old can run.

right now i feel like i am holding my breath.

waiting to exhale.

i've been almost fine up until now.

almost detached feeling.

 

don't worry,

i know the Lord has us in His hands,

i'm sure in 5 minutes i'll be fine.

right this moment i'm just overwhelmed.

we should know no later than friday what the diagnosis for brynna is.

please pray,

we appreciate it so much more than i can tell you.



God Bless,

Mandy

A Book...

you can buy it here

Passionate Housewives Desperate for God

this book is

amazing.

truly.

what an honor to have read this book.

it reminds 'us' of the women God called us to be in a beautiful and candid way.

i tried to find a line to give you from the book.

i couldn't.

nearly every line is a nugget of truth worthy of sewing in to your heart.

this is a book that every Christian woman should have dogeared on her shelf.

go buy it,

then come back here and tell me what you thought:)

God Bless,

mandy

Seriously Considering...

my kids are totally and thoroughly against it.

my home schooling them.

heck, i'm against it 1/2 the time.

but i am seriously considering it.

and then not.

i am begging God to answer me clearly on this one.

i'm afraid it's too late to start.

i am very impatient with my kids.

they are not fast learners.

but.

i feel like my oldest is failing to learn in his current school.

he's getting by,

but not doing as well as i think he could be.

he has a fantastic Godly teacher.

but i just wonder what I could be doing here to help.

and i already spend hours doing homework with him.

what to do, what to do?

but the books/curriculum is definitely not in our budget!

i'm not sure we could swing it financially.

that, of course,  won't be my basis for our decision,

but it does play into it.

my heart is in turmoil back and forth over this.

i *think* i have made up my mind when all of a sudden i change it again.

do any of you have wisdom to share?

success/failures?

i would love to hear how you manage...

either way! 

God Bless,

Mandy

Let Me Tell Ya What I Know...

***The following is not talking to my sweet blog readers, but strangers out and about***

Yes I DO indeed know what causes a baby.

Yes I DO know that my hands are full.

Yes I DO know how blessed I am.

Yes, they are all from the same father.(really??!!)

NO, I am not a Mormon.

Or Catholic.

Just a plain ol' Jesus lovin' Christian.

And YES, I am done, thank you very much.

But it's not your business if I wasn't.

And I don't mind sharing that info,

but the sassy voice is unnecessary.

I don't think I have EVER.  Seriously EVER.

been in a public place with all 4 of my kids when someone hasn't stopped me and said "boy you've got your hands full!".

It's like they all read out of the same book, What to Say When You See A Lady With 4 or More Kids.

On a separate note, I read a blog post yesterday that was so good I can't stop thinking about it, so hop on over here:

Brave Girl's Club

for some heart talkin' wisdom.

And here's my lil monkey with his new Big Boy do!

with the "good job, but not really", ice cream that followed.

God Bless,

Mandy

Patience-Teaching the Waiting Game and Why?

Patience is a virtue.

One that I really stink at.

WHY?

Why is patience so important?

Why should we teach our kids?

Because we want them to wait to have dessert after dinner?

Or to wait till their Birthday to open the gift?

Hmmm...

Kinda important, but not a spirit lesson,

or is it?

This is something seemingly small .

So parents let it slide, this patience teaching thing.

Why is this a bigger deal than dessert?

When we teach our kids patience, we give them LIFE SKILLS.

Crucial LIFE SKILLS.

 I leave our Mom's Shop stuff in plain view all week, and let them STRUGGLE with the wanting of the goodies, but not being able to have them yet.

Not because I'm mean (well, I can be).

But because it's BIGGER.

Often times I'll set a cup of juice on the table prior to putting dinner on the table.

WHY?

It's certainly not because I want to yell ask them a million times to not drink it.

It's certainly not because I like cleaning up spilled juice from sneaky fingers.

I don't LIKE to pick a fight with my kids.

But there are moments we need to set them up to make a choice.

To set 'em up in a safe environment to learn the lesson of patience.

You see, I don't REALLY care if they had some juice before their meal.

Let's fast foreword 5,10, 20 years.

I DO care if they WAIT to have sex until marriage.

But I DO care if they WAIT till money is in their bank account before they buy their groceries.

I DO care if they WAIT to buy something they really want by saving cash rather than getting now on a credit card.

I do care if they choose to WAIT till I pick them up from a party where there is drinking, when all their friends are leaving now, together.

There is a lot more to teaching our kids patience than meets the eye.

It's character building.

It teachers them that no matter how much they want it NOW,
they will be blessed when they choose to WAIT.

Now if only I could teach myself to wait till after lunch to eat that cupcake...

 Linking up with:

 

God Bless,

Mandy

Do You Need to Have "THE TALK" With Your Kids??

Okay, so I'm jumping into the deep end here.

My oldest is 9.

As conservative as we are as a family on what he views, hears, etc., I'm pretty sure there are things he hears at school and around that make him wonder what in the world that means.

So how do I handle it??

By doing what I do best...

buying a book on the subject.

No people I wasn't prepared to jump right in on my own (on my own means of course with my husband completely speechless by my side).

I still blush when buying undergarments for Pete's sake.

No, seriously , I do.

I have to hide it under other items in the carts,

on the conveyor belt,

and then distract myself with something to do as the checker rings me up.

And we're talking at wal-mart, not some skimpy lingerie shop!

So ya, I've been feeling a tad anxious about this conversation.

That's where the book comes in.

A Chicken's Guide To Talking Turkey With Your Kids About Sex

Authored by Dr. Kevin Leman and Kathy Flores Bell.

you can buy it here:

here

This book is from a Christian perspective, and is full of great information.

There is a whole lot to it that goes beyond the birds and bees conversation, it talks about parenting styles that can set your child up for self discipline, responsibility, etc, that then prepare them for making good choices when it comes to sex.

I admit some of it scares the daylight out of me, and reading this has not eliminated all my fear in approaching this topic.

What it has done is shown me how to be no nonsense straight forward age appropraite with our kids, reinforced crucial life skills your child needs to obtain through the parent to have the confidence to make those good choices, and given me a jumping off point.

I would highly recommend this book to any parent.

  I would also highly NOT recommend you walking into your back yard and yelling above your husbands drilling

"Hey Honey, you know that Chicken Sex book I'm reading??"

Because it could send the entirely wrong message to your neighbors.

Not that I did that or anything!

God Bless,

Mandy

Clarification...

Just so we're all clear here.

Yes, I have some good parenting ideas.

Yes, I think I try to do what I am supposed to as a mom.

Overall I think I'm fairly good at it.

But don't you go thinking that just because I post advise or ideas that I have those kids that sit quietly.

Or answer 'yes ma'am'.

Or who like me.

I am blessed with challenging kids.

My oldest in particular.

He is tough.

Like,  I'm near crying everyday to deal with this kid tough.

You know the book The Strong Willed Child??

They were talking about him.

He challenges me on every parenting point I've ever had.

He tends to bring out the worst in me.

He is a smart, funny, sweet, little boy, but he doesn't realize it yet.

He's down on himself about nearly everything.

I knew he was going to go toe to toe with me from his entrance into this world.

He never slept more than 2 hrs (rarely that) at a time, then I'd nurse him for 2 more.

The boy NEVER took a nap.

Not kidding, NEVER.

He has a temper I don't understand,( his dad's).

He is naturally smart  in many ways.

But school does not come easy for him.

He spends more time worrying about how how he's not going to do as well as others that he just gives up.

It kinda makes me hate myself for being that kid back in school that breezed out 4 page papers when the teacher required a paragraph.

My heart hurts for that boy that must have sat next to me struggling like my son, all the while thinking he wasn't up to par just because I was a show off.

As many times as I catch myself worrying over his future, what choices he'll make, how he'll control his temper, etc...I know there is a reason for it.

God gave him a passion.

That passion just hasn't found it's voice yet.

I pray God puts a HUGE dream in his heart.

Because he's just the kid to take it on.

I tell him, when he struggles, that he is someone in which Jesus can use in big ways.

The enemy knows that, and attacks the strongest, trying to render them unfit for the battle.

That it's because he is so amazing that he feels so much emotion and intensity.

I have no doubt that God is going to do amazing works in my oldest son,

but there are times my heart cries out for mercy.

Just once to have him obedient and respectful without an all out battle.

I feel like I'm treading water half the time,

being pulled under in this daily battle of wills.

And people he's stronger than me.

My nature is to please.

To back down,

to ease up.

But that's not what God has called me to do.

He has called me to walk that very thin line between conquering this boys will while protecting his spirit.

Letting him have independence while keeping him safe.

Teaching him obedience while showing him God's power unleashed within him.

Parenting is harder than anyone could ever explain,

particularly when you have kids with strong wills.

I wanted to share my struggles so that it was understood that my kids and I aren't anywhere near perfect.

But our God is, and where my husband and I fall short He will fill the gap.

Praise Him, because I surely couldn't do this on my own.

God Bless,

Mandy