my favorite reads from 2012 {non-fiction}...

i'm handing out tiaras to my favorite reads of 2012.

 

 

the winners in the non-fiction category are as follows:

 

3rd place:

Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman

this book is an all encompassing, home organizing, giant piece of pie.

kim shares how to run a household smoothly but with a fresh and Godly perspective and practical ideas.

 

 

2nd place:

Educating the Whole Hearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson.

 

 

this book is the Bible equivalent to a homeschooler.

sally is one of my favorite writers on motherhood, and this book covers homeschooling in all aspects.  from the whole home atmosphere, to parenting styles, to the nitty gritty of teaching math and science.

they guide without making you feel their way is the only way.  such a wealth of information in this huge book, it can be a little overwhelming, but i feel it's a necessity for my homeschool shelf!

 

 

1st place:

Captivating/Wild at Heart by John  and Stasi Eldredge

 

 

 

okay, okay, i cheated a little.

this is a 2 book win.  but, they tie into each other as companion books. 

one about a man's soul and one for the woman's.

i should warn you,

i have friends that hated these books.

i suppose it's where you are in your walk with Christ, but for me these books were eye openers that resonated with me at a soul deep level.

 

these will be rereads for years to come.

 

 

and finally...

the winner, the crowning moment.

 

my top pick for the best non-fiction book i read in 2012 was ...

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

 

i know everyone and their mother has already read this book,

but there's a reason for it people!

 

i wasn't sure at first i would be able to handle ann's flowery prose.

her blog sometimes touches me deeply and other times i have to skim-quickly.

 

but this book was a life changer for me and my approach to the throne of God.

counting the gifts He gives us in each moment is a way to a more fulfilling and personal relationship with our Heavenly Father.

my copy is highlighted and note~ridden and will be gifted as well. i love it to pieces!

 

 

winners in the fiction category soon!

none of these links are affiliate links.  all opinions are my own and i was not compensated in any way for these reviews.

 

 

 



a life in the circus...

i have pretty much come to accept that my life is made up of a circus act,

 requiring me to balance on fine lines, keep juggling balls all in the air,

and be ring master of the whole shebang all at the same time...

 

i have to say, this life is a humbling experience.

 

this circus act has me constantly falling into the abyss, dropping balls left and right, and either screaming in or neglecting my megaphone all together.

 

first off, i should say i am a very even keeled woman.

i tend not to be weepy or hormonal.

i roll with the punches, knowing life is still good even when it sucks, and i can pull up my boot straps and get the heck on with it when need be.

i don't believe in looking back unless we can learn from it and then move on.

and rarely, if ever, do i cry.

 

all that said {just so ya'all know i'm not just pmsing in this post-i'm not ;)},

i do get overwhelmed and want to bury my head in the sand sometimes.
most of the time.

 

i know i had a tendency at one point in my life to feel prideful.

i was making good decisions that were God honoring and i felt proud.

i think if i had become the 32 year old woman i had imagined at one point i would be, i would still be prideful.

 

good thing the Lord threw me off my high horse.

it hasn't been pretty, but i sure have learned a lot in the process.

 

 

my kids are not perfect. {GASP!}

in fact one leads me daily to my knees feeling battle worn and weary.

my once trim figure has suffered medical issues {okay, and chocolate} leaving me overweight and embarrassed.

my house that after only 2 kids was still 95% clean has given way to cracker crumbs and paper stacks and

laundry eruptions.

this last year got tight with finances from a job shift.

i won't even mention the state of my backyard and the agony it has caused in this household

{looking at that mess is the only time i feel PMSy}

add to that me trying to teach my children at home and you have a woman who not only fell off her high horse but got bucked clear the hell off.

 

i have been known to ask God "where is my manna for today?!" in my best 2 year old voice,

or go in the bathroom and literally beg God for a little more strength.

 

i fail in so many ways.

every.single.day.

 

i go to bed with guilt, wake up resolved to be cheery despite attitudes {cheery is my natural make up, but it soon is sucked dry}, only to drop that particular ball right out of the gate.

if i manage to see my husband out the door with a hot breakfast, a load in the wash by 6am, and devotions under my belt, feeling pretty good,

just wait until 8 am when the "i hate math/you're the meanest mom in the world/he kicked me/ i hate my brothers/i don't want to brush my teeths" start.

i fall off that high wire and wind up in a pile somewhere down below.

 

 

i'm not saying this to whine or complain or receive accolades.

i'm saying this because it's the truth.

that hard, ugly, i'mnothingwithout Jesus truth.

and i have a feeling i'm not the only circus performer out there.

 

 

but i know that when i am weary God takes my burdens and fights my battle { Matt 11:28 and exodus 14:14}
and i know that He chooses the weak and foolish to work through {1st corinth. 1:27}
and i am soooooo foolish!
and i know that He will be faithful to complete the work He started in me {phil. 1:6}

i am so glad i serve a God who knows my weaknesses , oh so many, and loves me anyways.
and i am thankful i can give up this foolish balancing act, the juggling and the hand the mike over to Him.
even if it's every day. or multiple times a day.
He will cover where i ere with my kids, and i will trust Him to do the work i simply can not do.


well, except the cheerios on the floor.
i'll have to do that.
i don't think God sweeps.

 

 

 

 

 



Broken...

i'm not sure what i'm writing here,

i just know i need to write.

 

as i sat in church this am, holding my precious 6 year old on my lap and singing about sorrow at night, but joy comes in the morning, i really thought i was going to break.

it seems i've broken many times over the last weeks.

 i know of 2 young children just diagnosed with brain tumors, the suicide of a local father, my soon to be sister in law's loss of her young father to a stroke, the mall shooting in my state, the school stabbing in China, and then the New Town tragedy. 

While other people seem to get on with it, i can't seem to move.

i can't get off my knees.

i quietly, surreptitiously steal away a few minutes in the bathroom to cry.

i sneak respite in my room for yet another prayer.

i sit at this computer and pray for each family by name.

 

i can't move on.

 

there are mother's arms tonight aching with loss where mine are overflowing.  and i thank a merciful God that they are.

 

i am racked by the knowledge that life is short.

we know it, but we don't live it.

we are so stupid that we don't grasp that eternal wisdom. we hold onto it with slippery hands only to watch it slide into ignorance when life prattles on.

and then the next tragedy strikes, and we are once again stabbed with the reminder.

 

 

i was a junior in high school the year of the Springfield school shootings, just a couple hours away from my own school. with my senior year came Columbine.  while we planned our prom, there were girls like me being put in the grave.

i remember vividly, as i'm sure we all do, where i was when i heard of the tragedy September 11th brought. finally getting a rare chance to sleep in with my newborn son, my first child, hearing the phone ring incessantly begging to be answered and me frustrated at interrupted sleep.  only to hear my mom saying over the machine, "mandy, get up, they're attacking America, they're flying planes into buildings." and holding my precious baby all the day glued to the news.

 

this day of New Town, i will keep it with me.

i will let it sit in me to remind me how precious our one life is.

and remind me to live that one life well.

 

i know there are those who question God, who shake their fist at God and wonder why.

 

i know why.

it's not God.

it's evil.  the enemy of our lives seeks to kill, steal and destroy.

 

It breaks.God's.heart.

more than you and i can fathom.  but with free will comes choice.

with free will came the fall of mankind.

we invited evil in and he wants to take us out.

 

this is what i know:

 

i know God has a plan and a purpose {Jer.29:11}. 

 i know He makes all things new.{Rev. 21:5}

i know that  neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. {Romans 8:38-39}

i know that He will carry us, sustain us, and rescue us {Isaiah 46:4}

I know that His love DOES NOT FAIL, His mercy endures {Psalms 136}

 

I know that my GOD is big enough, loving enough, merciful and gracious enough to sustain us.

I don't know how.

i can only remotely glimpse the pain of these families and that alone is too much to bear. i can't fathom how they will move into tomorrow or the next day, but i know God's grace and peace can settle any storm.

i will carry these moments in my pocket, close to my heart, so that i can pull them out on weary days, on days of irritation and exhaustion and pain.

i will remind myself when my 6 year old, with his huge blue eyes and dark long lashes and 2 front teeth-missing grin, is trying my short line of patience that he is here.  he is here. other 6 year olds are being put in the ground, but he is here.

my 4 year old with his precious cuddles and surprising bright blonde hair and chipped tooth, my 8 year old daughter with her undeniable beauty, her dances, her chatter, her sweetness and my oldest son, my 11 year old, with his freckles, his quiet strength, his mature beyond his years spirit.

they are here.

i don't know how long i have them for.

i don't know the story God has written for us.

it scares me.

it's every parents worst nightmare.

but He is my God and i am His, and this life is but a breath.

 

this world is not my home.

we are but strangers in this land.

 the cross redeemed me, making my home in heaven.

death has no victory, death has no sting {1st Corinth. 15:55}

 

while my heart is broken,

and while i ache,

joy will come in the morning.

morning may mean tomorrow, it may mean next year, and it may mean the other side of eternity, but it will come.

i will praise Him in my sorrow, knowing that He hears and records every tear we shed {Psalms 56:8}

i will praise Him because He is still God, He still sits on the throne, and victory is His.

 

i pray these truths be known in New Town, in the grieving hearts around the world, in the heart of mother's who sit at hospital beds, in father's who cry out, in widows and orphans and the lonely.

 

i pray that these truths be known to those young men, who have not believed that life is a precious gift.  who have listened to the wrong voice, the enemies voice, that they are worthless and dirty and no good.

i pray the voice of truth speaks louder, that the church will shine brighter, showing these lost souls, who seek to harm because they have lost all ability to feel compassion and love, that there is a God who loves them and wants them to turn form their sins and let Him love them.

I pray this generation of young people would have conviction in their souls, that they have a soul, that they are made worthy, not by who they are or what they do, but by the God who has formed them in their mother's womb and knows every hair on their head and has redeemed them through the cross should they just believe.

 I pray instead of violence, that the evil inside them would be driven out by the love of the Creator.

 

i am purged for now.

i could write all day, but i am still too broken to put more words down.

He hears my heart and that's enough.

My prayers go with all those who are hurting.

You are loved.

 

mandy