i am the mom that says she'll blog 3x a week and then a month goes by.
i am the mom that doesn't flinch when her kids decide they need marker tattoos and end up scribbled head to toe in neon green.
i am the mom that freaks out when shoes get left hither and yon when there are no less than 3 shoe buckets on the premises.
i am the mom that screams at her children to be quiet because i am trying to read a book about being being a more present mom.
i am the mom that spends extra money we don't have to buy organic milk and eggs at the grocery store, only to hit up Mc D's on the way home because there is NO way i'm cooking lunch after shopping.
i am the mom who will sweep and do dishes 5x a day.
but not fold the 5 piles of laundry sitting in my living room.
i am the mom who sees nothing wrong whatsoever with still needing to sleep with a 3year old monkey to get him to sleep.
i am the mom that would love to get a breast lift and lypo,
but would not get my stretch marks removed, believing they are part of a very special story.
i am also the mom against plastic surgery.
i am the mom that will remind my kids how essential modesty is,
then walk by and grab my husband.
i am the mom that fasts for her children in prayer, then realizes there are mint kisses in the pantry, and thinks God will overlook fasting for the sake of mint kisses.
i am the mom who has amazing ideas and intentions,
but lacks the follow through on 90%.
i am the mom whose children would never talk that way,
whose children now constantly use such language as idiot and shut up.
i am the mom who doesn't balk at crayon on the walls or new white furniture, but cried like a baby at the first "i hate you!"
i am the mom who has now grown accustomed to those i hate yous and simply says "well i love you"
i am the mom who has nursed four babies,
co-slept with those babies,
and never let them cry it out.
i am the mom who doesn't believe in having huge birthday parties every year.
i am the mom who too often says one thing and does another.
i am the mom that once stood on my front porch, baby on a boob, phone to the ear, while shooting at a deer with a bebe gun in our veggie garden.
and i'm the mom who didn't think that was weird til i retold the story.
i am the mom that went through thinking two of her babies had cancer/tumors,
and rejoiced when they did not.
i am the mom who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to bribe your kids
(God bribed Moses to the promised land with milk and honey right?)
i am also the mom that second guesses everything she does and feels guilt about nearly all of it.
i'm the mom who never left her kids, even to run to the grocery store by myself.
so now i'm the mom that feels weird having bunco or a girl's day out every month.
i'm the mom who never once considered working outside the home, regardless of financial situations.
i'm the mom who likes to get all dolled up.
and wear a pony tail and yoga pants the other 5 days.
i'm a mom who plays her music so loud in the car, i fear for my children's ear drums when i get back in the car and realize how loud it was.
i am the mom who sings off key, ridiculous songs to annoy my kids.
i'm the mom who sometimes 'fights' the fit by throwing myself on the floor and screaming too.
i'm the mom with cracker crumbs in the van, the couch cushions and in my cleavage.
i'm the mom that knows how very blessed i am to have 4 little loveys.
i am the mom blessed to have such an easy time getting pregnant and easy pregnancies.
i'm the mom who was quiet and graceful through all my labors.
(if you can be graceful spread full eagle with sweat dripping down your face).
i am the mom who gives way too many lectures and gets drawn into the arguments.
i am the mom who is usually patient and kind during potty accidents, broken things and owies.
but i'm the mom who yells for everyone to just stop yelling.
i'm the mom who has forgotten to shut public restroom doors because i just forgot they shut.
i'm the mom who loves my monkeys unconditionally.
i'm the mom trusting God to help me enjoy this beautiful and crazy ride i'm on.