Friday, September 24, 2010


Just so we're all clear here.
Yes, I have some good parenting ideas.
Yes, I think I try to do what I am supposed to as a mom.
Overall I think I'm fairly good at it.
But don't you go thinking that just because I post advise or ideas that I have those kids that sit quietly.
Or answer 'yes ma'am'.
Or who like me.

I am blessed with challenging kids.
My oldest in particular.

He is tough.
Like,  I'm near crying everyday to deal with this kid tough.
You know the book The Strong Willed Child??
They were talking about him.
He challenges me on every parenting point I've ever had.

He tends to bring out the worst in me.

He is a smart, funny, sweet, little boy, but he doesn't realize it yet.
He's down on himself about nearly everything.
I knew he was going to go toe to toe with me from his entrance into this world.
He never slept more than 2 hrs (rarely that) at a time, then I'd nurse him for 2 more.
The boy NEVER took a nap.
Not kidding, NEVER.
He has a temper I don't understand,( his dad's).
He is naturally smart  in many ways.
But school does not come easy for him.
He spends more time worrying about how how he's not going to do as well as others that he just gives up.
It kinda makes me hate myself for being that kid back in school that breezed out 4 page papers when the teacher required a paragraph.
My heart hurts for that boy that must have sat next to me struggling like my son, all the while thinking he wasn't up to par just because I was a show off.

As many times as I catch myself worrying over his future, what choices he'll make, how he'll control his temper, etc...I know there is a reason for it.
God gave him a passion.
That passion just hasn't found it's voice yet.
I pray God puts a HUGE dream in his heart.
Because he's just the kid to take it on.
I tell him, when he struggles, that he is someone in which Jesus can use in big ways.
The enemy knows that, and attacks the strongest, trying to render them unfit for the battle.
That it's because he is so amazing that he feels so much emotion and intensity.
I have no doubt that God is going to do amazing works in my oldest son,
but there are times my heart cries out for mercy.
Just once to have him obedient and respectful without an all out battle.
I feel like I'm treading water half the time,
being pulled under in this daily battle of wills.
And people he's stronger than me.

My nature is to please.
To back down,
to ease up.
But that's not what God has called me to do.

He has called me to walk that very thin line between conquering this boys will while protecting his spirit.
Letting him have independence while keeping him safe.
Teaching him obedience while showing him God's power unleashed within him.

Parenting is harder than anyone could ever explain,
particularly when you have kids with strong wills.

I wanted to share my struggles so that it was understood that my kids and I aren't anywhere near perfect.
But our God is, and where my husband and I fall short He will fill the gap.
Praise Him, because I surely couldn't do this on my own.

God Bless,


Joycee said...

The struggle to raise our children to be strong yet yielding and independent yet willing to ask for help when they need it is a daunting job. It's not for the weak in spirit, it's made to order though for Mom's and Dad's who put the Lord at the helm. Sounds like you are doing just that! Thanks so much for following Granny Mountain...

Leslie @ Farm Fresh Fun said...

Beautiful post! Fwding to a friend in similar circumstances right this minute. We've all been the mommy who feels their child brought out our worst. Like you, I try to focus on what that passion will produce one day. And praise God for such blessings. But its tough some days. Thanks for keeping it real. I'm your newest follower!
hugs to you!

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