Thursday, June 9, 2011

just say no ( a somewhat rant)...

the whirlwind of end-of-school-craziness is just about at a close...

possibly forever?
well, i'm sure there will still be some,
just all together different.

there is much to get done,
projects i'm needing to begin,
books to read,
clothes to wash
(and actually fold and make it to the drawers!)

all that said i'm winding it down.
i'm determined to have a semi schedule this summer.
you know,
the kind of schedule that helps actually have more time to relax?!

here's the deal.
we are not a go-go-go family.
we're a mostly stay home and do random things family.
the kids do not participate in  any sports other than the oldest monkey with spring baseball.
we don't do camps/trainings/plan lots of play dates/etc.
i refuse to be the mother that is always in the car,
with 4 kids going to 4 places and picking up fries along the way.
i know it will get more difficult as the others get a bit older.
there will be more busyness.
though i refuse to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
 families ask how i do it all.
i don't!
i say no to many things.
being HOME with family is more important than having all the kids kept "BUSY".
 i have a very difficult time with the idea of dropping our kids of at baseball training camps, boys and girls club activities, football day camps, etc.
i do not feel at all comfortable about sending my kids off to adults i don't really know for hours at a time.
i've never even allowed them to go to VBS.
while these activities can be fun, i would encourage parents to ask questions regarding background checks ( in our state, i've  heard but not verified it only shows up if the occurrence HAPPENED in our state!)
 and whether or not there are policies in place for a 2 deep ratio.
meaning that there have to be at least 2 adults with a child at all times,
trips to the rest room, etc.
i know some people are eye rolling at me.
in a world where possibly 1/2 the kids are sexually molested this is not something to consider lightly.
and even better, if you can be present at these camps, etc, then by all means STAY!
i know this may mean that you have to wait 2 hours and take the kids to the grocery store when you are done, but it is worth the protection of your children!

the same goes for allowing kids to spend time at other people's homes.
my kids have a select few homes they are allowed to go to.
and they are NEVER allowed to spend the night.
yes, they think we are evil for it,
but one day,
when they are sitting in a cabin with 12 peers at church camp and the conversation reveals that they are
 that has not been sexually molested they will understand.
i know because i was in one of those cabins,
and was so horrified that after i got the girls settled i walked out in the snow and cried my eyes out.
those girls have no idea how their inexcusable wounds have enabled me to be a more aware,
more protective parent to my children.
i thank the Lord that their experiences were shared with me that i might have a better understanding of this evil world and the need to protect our babies.

will your child be upset when they are 'the only one' unable to attend the sleepover?
there will be tears and tantrums galore.
but just say no!

have a sleepover in your living room,
popcorn and movies.
invite friends to your house as much as possible.
stay home rather than running from one place to the next
(unless of course it's a park hopping extravaganza!).
find time to lay under an oak and read a good book to your kids.
(we're currently on Little House on the Prarie).


God Bless,


Carissa said...

What a great post! I could not agree with you more! My children do not and will not be sleeping over at other peoples houses either!!!
(Other than the grandparents). None of truly knows what goes on at other peoples houses/behind closed doors. Only our Lord can know these things, and while we may trust and know a really great couple from church... who's to say that they do not have a guest or relative over while our children are there that we do not trust.

Your convictions in this matter are right on!

This happens more often than people even think, and to people we know. It is a hard wound to share and open up about.


PS We are homebody's too!

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

I absolutely agree! 100%! We actually still do not let our girls {8 1/2, 6, and 2} ride in the car with anyone. No one. And yes, I mean grandparents too. {Besides maybe a couple of times that it was necessary when I was in the hospital}. We just haven't gotten to that stage. Typically if there's an outing with the grandparents, I go too, so it's never been an issue. And as far as sleepovers, luckily my girls still have no desire to stay the night at someone's house. They'd just rather be here.

I always feel like the odd parent who doesn't have their children involved in 42 million activities. My older two girls take dance lessons {yes, I stay. I've never dropped them off}, and even that got a little hectic with each of them on a different night of the week.

So, all that to say, AMEN SISTER! I couldn't agree more! :)

Anonymous said...

Definitely have to be careful! My girls have spent the night with our neighbor, my parents, my sister, and a couple of very select friends whom I know and completely trust. They've ridden a place with female friends and their children, but generally, I prefer to take my children where they need to go. They do go to church camp, but I do trust it; it's very strict, and I know their counselors, who are with them every moment. I'm very particular where my children go and with whom. I don't even let them ride their bicycles outside of an area around our house where I can see them. I have warned them of the dangers. I was followed by a man in a truck once, while I was riding my bike. I know he was following me, and I have no doubt that he intended harm to me. God protected me, though, and I turned around faster than he could, and got away. I tell my children this story. They know there is evil out there, and they know that I just want to protect them from it, and they rarely question me as to "why" they can't do some of the things their friends do, because they know why. I don't want them riding a bus, not even a church bus. Too many church busses end up crashing and killing kiddos. I give my sister pretty open reign them, only because she's pickier than I am, and will handle them like china dolls; I trust her. I do agree with you! Blessings!

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