Sunday, November 11, 2012

if we're gonna be friends...

a single friend of mine {ang} and i were joking about how it's a dang good thing i'm not on the dating sites like she is cause i would be flat.out.pathetic.
it kinda cracked me up just thinking of the warnings i'd give about myself.
my neon sign would be blinkin' RUN!
thank God i'm not single and have never had to really date having married so young!
but i do like my friends, so i figured i should  warn you all the same way...
if we're going to be friends, i feel like there are just some things we should lay on the table.
you can decide from there if we're kindred spirits or if i scared you.
Last night i had only brussel sprouts for dinner.
tonight i had only grasshopper cookies.
{no hatin'}
i'm kinda addicted to Downton Abbey.
and i know something about season 3 that is KILLING me.
curse the blasted spoilers!
if you read the above, you know i occasionally burst forth with repressed British phrases.
if you find none of this funny, well, you have no sense of humor.   i've read them 30 times and i still need to pee every time.
if you don't read i will forgive you, but expect me to talk endlessly about my latest book.
if you have never seen/don't like anne of green gables, we'd best just call this friendship off now.
{and get some psych evals done if you saw and did not like}
and if you don't watch movies at all, we'll need some counseling to get through this.{les;)}
however, if you watch reality trash t.v., i will tease you endlessly and possibly roll my eyes at you occasionally if you try to talk to me about the KarTrashian chicks or how the couple on the bachelor are so perfect for eachother {PUKE} { i still love you though cyn and tiff }
i subscribe to this belief:
Pinned Image
 {via my oringinal source}
at some point in this friendship, you will see me reach into my shirt to rearrange the girls.
i'm sorry, it's a little awkward but it needs done y'all.
if i am in your car, and you turn on hip hop or top 40, i will be screaming at you in my head.

if your dogs jumps up on me or licks me or sniffs my crotch i may kick it when you aren't looking.  kidding.
but i'm not gonna tell you how adorable and sweet your pet is.
if you ask me where i want to eat, you might as well just decide, because i don't care.
unless you pick seafood, then i'll care.

if you understand chipping paint and how it speaks to your soul, we're golden {kathy}
my house is extremely girly and has dead deer heads on the walls.
if pink & lacey , taxidermy, or both make you nauseous, you'd best let me hang at your house instead.
a late and wild girl's night out for me means doing a costco run and stopping for dessert and getting home at 10:30.  i'm a party animal and you can't stop me.  i need a 12 step program.
no matter how much i love you, i will not come to your house party where someone is selling me make-up, kitchen gadgets, scrapbook stuff, purses, etc.
will. not. ever.
 { but you should still invite me because i am also insecure}
i have come to believe i am one of those women that other women automatically feel a kinship with, or automatically dislike.  there is usually no in between.
  love me or hate me.
i don't care if you are my grandma's age or my little sister's age, fat or thin, homeschooling your 10 kids or childless or public schooling your 2,  i don't care if you've been through a nasty divorce or married happily or single.
i don't care if you are a die hard paleo fanatic or feed your kids mcds once a week.
i don't care if you drool over shabby apple and modcloth like me, or wear hoodies and yoga pants everyday {um, also like me}.
i don't care of you bring in 6 figures or are on food stamps.
i have an assortment of friends from every walk of life and i love that all my friends don't look, think or act just like me.  so many women seem to only have friends that could be there twins in all manners of life.  i like my random group thankyouverymuch;)
so, can we be friends???
i will try not tell you what happens on D.A. season 3 but you should know i am also bad at surprises...


Lisa Williams-Harris said...

Oh, Mandy, I'm peeing, too! You crack me up! So glad you're my new friend!

thetwistedruffle said...

how did i miss this? maybe my crazy november had something to do with it? this was funny and yes, i would wish i could talk to you about the bachelor, the good wife, criminal minds, survivor, or all the other shows i love....but it would be okay, because i just think we could live and be great friends no matter.

btw, it's all going super well. i'll call you. i'm off to see what other posts i've missed!! ;-)

One plus One equals Six said...

This cracked me up. Glad we're friends! I am so excited for DA Season 3! Eek!

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