Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Mother's Day...

Mother's Day.
A day I generally have exceptionally high hopes for.
And generally end up extremely disappointed.
I KNOW that sounds awful, but it's true.
  I somehow always think that *this* is the year I will get to sleep in.
That Honey will make breakfast, get the kids ready and produce some sort of extravagant production where they all tell me how awesome I am.
That the kids will take a vow of  kindness to each other all day.
That noone will need to be wiped or put in time out.
And that I will be constantly told how much I'm appreciated.

can you see why maybe I set myself up for some disappointment?


This year WAS wonderful.
Although I woke up at 6 to  my 2 youngest monkeys having diarreahed all over my floor.
My Honey (once he finally woke up)
presented me with a gorgeous hydrangea.  A lovely light blue endless summer variety. And a couple new birdies.

Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE hydrangeas?

  And then my children gave me all their little lovey poems and pictures and cards.
Monkey 1's about made me cry seems how he is NOT a mama's boy.  He'll rarely hug or kiss me anymore.:(

Monkey 2s  Translation: I love you Mom and you are pretty.

Monkey 3 said his was a picture of us hugging and kissing...can you see those big ol' lips in the picture?

Then we took a last minute throw together trip to the beach!  And what was supposed to be a rainy day over there was beautiful.  My kids all got along(MIRACLE!!).
We enjoyed the day all together as a family.  With no wining. Or teasing. Or fights.
Truly amazing. 
 I am so blessed to have them.
That was my thought all day long.
While there are women out there who struggle with infertility.
Or haven't found the right guy but want to.
Mama's whose kids are sick.
or hurt.
Or who have lost a baby.
or a child.
Women in other countries who have to constantly worry about whether their babies will be fed.
or taken.
or be lost to preventable disease.

and here I am.  With 4 great kids. 
Who, yes, drive me to the brink of insanity daily.
Who I'd like to throttle at times. 
Who I obsess and worry and pray over wondering what their future holds.

and sometimes ( more often than I like to admit)
FORGETTING how blessed I really am.
That it is wonderful to even be loaned these kids for a short time.
That the fact that they can run around wild is wonderful.
That they are healthy enough and carefree enough to be crazy , rambunctious kids.
That in serving them joyfully I am serving the God of the Universe who placed me here.
To care for them.
To teach them.
To love them like crazy.
From a Savior that loves me more than I could ever possibly grasp. 
Except for the overwhelming breath in me when I look at them.
And I know that I have been given a slight glimpse at how He loves us.
And my role of bottom wiper, baby carrier , maid, cook, and police officer suddenly feels immensly important.
Why I was chosen to raise these kids I may never know.

I feel underqualified and extremely lost some times.

Sometimes I wonder what He was thinking.
That I'm screwing up here.
That I'm wasting away their youth with my inabilities to know just what to do or say.
If HE chose me.
If He is the God I claim Him to be and KNOW that He is.
If He knows me better than I myself do.
If He placed these monkeys in my womb.
For my love and I to raise up.
Than surely this is where I am meant to be.
What I AM capable of doing.
Though sometimes it's monotonous.
Or lonely.
Or incredibly HARD.
It is worth it. 
And  of all the other things in this life I am.or do .or say .or be.
Being God's girl.
Jerad's  (yes I know  I said his name!) wife.
And these little ones MOM.
It is the best thing.
And nothing could compare.


God Bless,

1 comment:

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

How I adore "baby" art! (I still call all of mine babies...I can't help it!) And that note - a month straight? It pierced my heart in the best kind of way. We are SO blessed, aren't we?!

Thank you for your ever-kind words of encouragement today in your comment. They mean so much.

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