Thursday, March 15, 2012

the vision...

once upon a time i was a little girl.

i was the ultimate daydreamer.

i longed to grow up.
to fall in love.
to find my place in this big world.

at one time that meant being an ice cream truck driver with a mint green and pink ice cream truck.
i was about 5.
all my ice cream was to be free, just to make all the children i came upon gloriously happy.

what can i say?  economics has never been my strong suit.

then i wanted to be a ballerina or a super model.

christy brinkley was my favorite.

needless to say,
my gifts include neither poise nor killer looks.

then it was a novelist.

i still have copies of my 8 year old penmanship 'novels' about cat families romping through the woods,
and later, girls on trains in which the 1700s and 1900s were a bit muddled.
but i was only 10 or 12.

and then there was sitting my siblings and friends down ,
pretending i was a teacher and they were to do their lessons on slates.
i was pretty demanding.

as 8th grade came around,
teachers and peers had me almost believing i should be a journalist.
i saw vintage type press and hitchcokish headlines in a daydream bubble.

then it was an advertising exec. in a high powered office that included cute suit sets, spiked heels and incredible slogans for fortune 500 companies.

then college was around the corner.
reality had to be faced.
i looked in the mirror knowing i was not, indeed, cut out for cut throat jobs in high rises and smog and traffic.

so i resorted back to something that had always been in the back of my mind.
a teacher.

so i made my plans, applied to the best teaching university in oregon, got accepted and daydreamed some more.
the problem was, i never wanted to teach in a 'regular' school.

i have always been an old soul.
you know that 'real age test' Oprah  pushed years ago?
pretty sure at 10 i would have registered 70.

i daydreamed about teaching multiple grades in a one room school house down a dusty dirt lane.
where the kids would pick warm black berries in the heat of summer and help carry wood in to the wood stove in winter.

perhaps i watched too much anne of green gables.
nope, there can never be too much anne.
but perhaps the 1800s beckoned me a little too crazily in 1999 as a high school senior.

and perhaps not.

maybe, just maybe, God put that dream in spirit all those years ago,
with the exact purpose of preparing my homeschooling heart.
isn't it funny how He works things?
how the dream He gave my heart, that sounded a little odd years ago, now is my daily existence?

the other dream that hasn't died with the rest?
to write.
to become a novelist.

i still write,
though very infrequently.

but through this journey i'm convinced,
if God puts a passion in your heart,
a dream that doesn't burn brightly only to die quickly,
there's a reason for it.
a plan and a purpose in it.

one day maybe i'll be a published author.
or that dream will turn into something else i can't even think of yet,
because it's not my season.
but here i am.
teaching and writing.
i almost feel like i'm 12;)

is there a dream in your heart that has always been there?
that perhaps God intends for more than just a dream? 

and don't worry.
i promise not to come by in my green and pink ice cream truck in run way clothes any time soon.


1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

I so enjoyed this post Mandy. Your blog makes you a "published author" already! I am an old soul too and I watched every episode of "Little House on the Prairie" several times.

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