Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A Process

Do you ever feel like God's trying to tell you something?
And you are almost able to glimpse what it is but not quite?
Like when you are remembering something right in the front of your brain and it drifts in and out,
just slightly out of reach?
Yeah, like that.

I KNOW God is trying to get through to me.
I know He has lessons to be learned by my frazzled self.

It's like I feel Him speaking to my spirit and yet I'm not listening.

I need to learn to quiet myself.
To stop the constant stream of thoughts and plans flowing and jamming up my mind.
I need to learn to not just talk to God, but to listen as well.

I kinda stink at that.
I'm a talker.
A know it all if truth be told.
It's a bit hard for me to 'be still'.

I'm on the threshold.
And whatever is coming is big.
Not to you.
And it's not external.
No moves, babies, jobs.
Nothing like that (that I know of).
It's right in my heart.
In who I am in Christ.

You see I kinda misplaced Him.
Not in any outward way, just here inside me.
I had great excuses.
Like babies.
And groceries.
And dirty floors.

And my favorite of all,
 little to no sleep.

But He's not mad, because He's cool like that.

He gets it.
He knows I love Him.
And He'll take me back like nothing happened.

And I'm ready to put aside what came before Him.
And if I'm honest the list is long.
Husband, kids, the house work.
Money, magazines, books, clothes.
Food, sleep and baths and shopping.

He gave me all these blessings and responsibilities.
And He wants me to enjoy them and take care of them.

But He knows I do it so much better when I'm teamed up with Him.


And so I'm gonna shut up and listen to what He's teaching me.
And know that great changes are in store for my lil old muckey heart.

I'm ready to give Him back the throne that I so subtly scooted out from under Him.

And it's going to be something pretty big, if only to me.

God Bless,

pictures from our park hoppin' Memorial Day

p.s.  I don't care if 'muckey' isn't a real word.

1 comment:

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Girl, I JUST LOVE YOU! (Can I say that and have it not sound weird?) Because I loved your comment on my blog today, and this post is so how I feel so much of the time! I'm so glad you found me, so I could find you!! :) Life sure is a journey, isn't it??

Blessings on yours!

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